DRABBLES OF DOOM
by ItachiIsReallyByakuya
Summary: Me and Tenshi went over bored and wrote a bunch of drabble ideas. I will continually update this till I decide to stop. I DO NOT OWN D.GRAY-MAN...I don't even own half of these ideas. SOME YULLEN, LUCKY AND LINALEE X ROAD...AND OTHER CRACK PARINGS.
1. Maid Out Fit

Niji- Ok. These are really short drabbles and the reason there so short is because I post like 5 a day. There suppose to be short.

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"Put it on," Allen demanded in a very serious tone.

"No," Kanda said in the same tone.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Fine."

"Good."

A few minutes later Kanda walked out of the bathroom. He was now wear a maid's costume, a very short maids costume. Blush had spread across his pale cheeks and he looked into silver orbs. The staring contest only lasted a few minutes before Allen jumped Kanda.

All that could be heard was shmexy noises.


	2. Exit Sign

"Moyashi, why do I have to come rescue you from this place?" Kanda asked. He wasn't too happy about having to save the younger exorsist from Road's dream world.

"I couldn't find my way out," Allen said looking around the room to see where Kanda had come from.

"Baka Moyashi," Kanda sighed as he pointed to a huge flashing sign that said exit in bright green light.

"Oh."


	3. Yogurt

Allen had a huge problem. He had been eating yogurt for a snack and now he had gotten a bit stuck just out of the reach of his tongue. The young exorsist had been trying for five minutes to get the vanilla-flavored yogurt off of his cheek.

"Oh for fucks' sakes," Kanda said as he leaned forward, over the table, and licked the yogurt off of Allen's face.

"K-K-Kanda!! Why did you do that?? I thought we were keeping out relationship secret."

"We've known for months," The whole cafeteria chorused at once.

"Oh."


	4. XXX Photos

"I've always wonders, is Allen a boy or a girl? I mean Allen is a boys name, but he is so girly," Krory asked the surrounding exorsits at their lunch table

."I'm a boy," Allen stated in an almost dead tone.

"I can't trust your opinion. Kanda, you've seen Allen naked right."

"WHAT!!" Kanda yelled.

"Is he a boy or girl?"

Kanda blinked a few time before replying, "Boy."

"How do I know your not lying?"

Kanda them removes from his pocket a photo wallet. He opens it as dozens of XXX photo's of Allen unfold. Krory sits there trying to say something but ends up looking like a fish out of water. He final says "ah." The vampiric exorsist then leaves the cafeteria screaming, "MY VIRGIN EYES!!"

"Do I even want to know what those wet spots around the photo's are?" Lavi asked simply.


	5. Wisdom Teeth

"Morning Yuu-chan," Lavi said brightly to his best friend.

"FUCK OFF USAGI," Kanda yelled back. His left palm was holding his cheek and he was grumbling.

"Someone is extra grumpy this morning."

"His wisdom teeth are coming in," Allen stated from behind his breakfast.

"How would you know that Allen?" Lavi questioned the small exorcist with the large stack of food.

"Well we were makin-Never mind." Allen got up and walked away from the table quickly.

"So you too are finally going out?"

Mugen was now pressed lightly against Lavi's throat and a small amount of blood began to trickle down his chin.

"Say another word and you die."


	6. Spagetti and Turkey Bacon

"What are you eating?"Kanda questioned Allen. He was used to seeing the boy eat a lot, but he wasn't used to seeing him eating something so weird.

"Spagetti," Allen spoke as he shoved more into his mouth.

"And whats that on top of the spagetti?"

"Turkey bacon."

"That sounds so gross."

"Actaully its really good."

"Let me try."

"Ok." Allen held out a fork full of spagetti and bacon toward Kanda. He took the fork and bit into the mixture. Suprise over road his face, it was good. Really good.

"Told you."


	7. Limping Lavi

"Lavi, why are you limping?" Allen asked as the red head approached the table. He was sitting in the library reading.

"No reason."

"You have to have a reason."

"I hurt my left ankle."

"Then why are you limping on the right?"

"Just leave me alone." The red head walked out of the library and went back to his room. Once inside he walked over to his bed and lay down.

"I'm going to kill you Tyki." As he spoke a man came through the wall.

"Aww. You know you loved it." Tyki grind wickedly.


	8. I Don't Want To

"K-k-kanda, what is that?" Allen questioned the taller buy while walking backward into a wall.

"Oh nothing. I just thought we could have a little fun," Kanda smirked wickedly.

"I relized that. You know how much I hate that kind of stuff." Allen was resorting to pouting now.

"I know, I know. Your still not getting out of it."

"Why must I."

"You promised."

"You got me drunk."

"Your point."

"I'm not doing it."

"Oh yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"You are or no-" Kanda began to whisper in Allen's ear as the boy turned beat red.

"Fine."

"Yay." This was one of the times Allen loved seeing Kanda. A smile of pure happiness was spread wide across his face. The taller exorcist sat on the floor and started setting up the board game. Allen hate them, they were almost impossible to cheat at and Allen was not a good looser.


	9. Authors Note

**_Niji: Hi everyone! So , so, so sorry for not updating!! I'm having complete writers block!! So if you have any ideas at all tell me. Seriously, I need the help!!_**

**_So, so, so, sorry!_**


	10. Good Mood

Niji: Hey everyone...Sorry for the long wait. Fou it on my computer after just talking about how I had writers block... Real smooth of me. READ ON!

**_DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN D.GRAY-MAN, IF I DID ALLEN IN THE END WOULDTURN OUT TO BE THE LEFT HAND OF GOD, GABRIEL, AND ... I SHALL SAVE THE REST THE DAY I WRITE A FANFIC ABOUT IT_**

Ka

nda was enjoying his meal. Really. He truly was.

Maybe there was something in his soba, but he was really, really pleased right now. He didn't feel like killing anyone-

"Yuu-chan!"

Super.

"Yes, Baka usagi." The exorcist prayed that his lunch wouldn't be ruined. I mean for once he was in a good mood.

"You should go out with Allen-kun," Lavi stated as he sat down next to Kanda and wrapped his arm around his neck.

"Now why do you say this?" Kanda was trying his hardest to keep up his good mood.

"Because you two would make a cute couple! Plus that way you and Allen can double with me and Lenalee."

"When did you and Linalee start going out?" Kanda didn't know why but his heart had snapped at the mention of Lavi dating Lenalee. He stood up and began to walk away, the pain in his chest hurting to much for him to sit and wait for an answer.

"Where are you going Yuu-chan?" Lavi shouted after the exorcist.

Kanda ignored him and continued to walk out of the cafeteria. By the time he had gotten to his room he was barely able to keep tears back. He opened his door and laid down on the bed. Where he stayed and cried himself to sleep.

Well there went his good mood.


	11. Kanda Alexander Yuu is a sex pot

Niji- Yes I am finally updating woot!!!! Btw, I didn't know Kanda had a middle name so I made One up.

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"KANDA ALEXANDER YUU IS A SEX POT," Lavi yelled in the middle of the orders caffeteria. He sat back down and turned to Allen. "There. You now owe me 50 bucks."

"It was totally worth it every cent," Allen spoke as he handed the tall red head his money. Unfortunatly for said red head, the moment he yelled was the same moment one Kanda yuu decided to walk into the cafeteria.

"I'm a sex pot now am I," Kanda spoke with a smirk. He was walking toward Allen and Lavi with nothing but his leather pants on. "Now, I thought you two were suppose to meet me in my room an hour ago." And with that Kanda dragged the two boys off to do unexpected things to the both of them.

...LAWL.


	12. Meowr?

"MEOWRRRRR!" Allen shouted as the tall red head began tickling him. He instantly stopped when the white haried boy had meowed.

"Meowr??"

"Yes meowr. What, is that wierd?" Allen asked eyebrow raised, still sitting on Lavi's lap after being tickled.

"Very weird," Lavi stated as he let Allen off his lap as Kanda walked in.

"If you wanna here moyashi make a wierd sound, come to my room later," and with a wink the tall japanese walked back out of the room.

Lavi and Allen stared in sheer horror. Then ran off tho join the older boy for some 'fun'. 


	13. Only one month?

"ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEN!" Lavi screamed as he ran into the caffeteria, "SAVE ME FROM YUU-CHAN!!"

"DON'T CALL ME YUU-CHAN BAKA USAGI," the tall japanese was sprinting toward Lavi. Allen the stood up and grabbed Kanda's arm. He then proceded to pull him down and whisper in his ear. That was the first time in his entire life that Lavi had seen Kanda blush.

"What did you say to him?" Lavi whispered once him, Allen and Kanda were sitting down at a lunch table.

"He threatend me with no sex for a month if I killed you," Kanda spoke and then shoved a mouth full or souba into his mouth.

"Only a month?" Lavi questioned.

"If you had been Lenalee it would have been three."

"Man, so not fair." 


	14. A Pickly Disaster

"It won't come out."

"What do you mean it won't come out?"

"Exactly what it sounds like. It's stuck."

"Well, did you lube it?"

"Of course I did."

"Well here, let me see if I can help." Reever pulled and pulled and pulled, until with one final tug it was out.

"Now are we going to get it stuck again?"

"No," Komui put his head down as he spoke. He reached over into a draw nearby and pulled out a fork. He stuck the fork into the pickle jar he just had his arm stuck in. Jabbing a pickle with a fork he pulled it out and monched on it.


	15. Always flout the rolling pin

"Komui," Jerry called from the doorway, "can you help me for a second?"

"With what?" Komui called from his paperwork. It seems Rever had finally convinced him to get at least some of it done.

"I need your help rolling the dough." Jerry's eyebrows did a quick waggle.

"With light quick storkes I presume," Komui usual smile pulled into a cocky smirk.

Jerry turned and began walking away, he looked over his shoulder and said, "But of course."

Komui got up from his desk and followed Jerry out of the science department. Out of no where a plastic package hit his head and landed in his hands.

"Remember to always flour the rolling pin." Johnny gave Komui a knowing look and a quick wink before returning to his work.

"Thanks."


	16. Happy Moment Ruined

Kanda and Lavi sat on the couch cuddling. It was one of the few times that they where alone and Kanda would let Lavi snuggle up to him. When out of no where a small white haired exorsist came running up, messing up Lavi and Kanda's hair. He then proceeded to yell, "Happy moment ruined." A giant smile plasterd on his face. He then bolted out the door, Kanda and Lavi following after him. Swears trailing out of there mouths. 


	17. Pleasure or Love

His lips traveled over Lavi's body. Sending pangs of pleasure up the red heads body. That's all this was to him, a pleasure.

He knew that Lavi didn't have the same feelings for him as he did for Lavi. Yet every week he came back to the older exorsist.

Pressing his body close. Kissing every inch of Lavi. Pleasing him in anyway he wanted. But he never got anything in return. Even now as he used his mouth to bring the boy to climax. He knew that once Lavi had climaxed he would send him away.

All Lavi wanted was the pleasure.

And all Allen wanted was his love. 


	18. So wrong, but oh so right

Allen sat on his bed deep in thought. What the two of them where doing was wrong. It went against God. And being an exorsist it wasn't a good thing to go against God.

He loved the other man, with all his heart. Yet his brain screamed at how wrong it was.

Anything the two of them did together was wrong.

Not to mention Allen was convinced that he had basically sent his lover to hell. He was cursed, he was part Noah, by right's he shouldn't even exist. But he did, and his and Lavi's love did to. No matter how wrong he thought it was, he couldn't keep his heart from loving the older exorsist. 


	19. Once Upon a Midnight Raping

Okay, this is part of a new mini series My friend wrote in the waking hours of the morning. All based off of fairy tails, with a -Man twist

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ONCE UPON A TIME, there lived this dude named Little red kanda hood. Oh did I say dude, i meant GIRL..like thing. He loved nothing, except poetry, razor blades, and his special HMMM manly assets, which he liked to call mugan and offten polished it with great pleasure. Another thing he liked was muffins, CAUSE THEY GIVE YOU FIBER. So on this day in time, mugan tucked away safely, he ventured out of his dank corner to find some at the local muffin imporium, Fuck yes. On his way back he came across a COMPLETLY HARMLESS big bad scary allen, why smiled at him menicingly(sweetly) and asked if he might give him EVIL(helpful) directions to the muffin shoppee. Kanda suspeced the worst. This wicked creature was going to steal ALL THE MUFFINS(fuck no) and he was going to start with him/her. He couragesly(pffft) wipped out mugan, now stiff and ready for battle.

"What The hell," the big bad allen yelled, well not really, he pretty much whimpered, it was pretty suggestive but...Kanda is...special.

"It's what I'm gonna fight you with."

"How the hell do you fight with a -" And Little Red Kanda Hood took the Big Bad Allen back too his corner and assulted him all night long.


	20. KandaYuu

Kanda sat in the lunch room eating his soba.

"Ka-nda-Yuu," Allen whispered, his arms wrapped around the older exorcists neck. Kanda turned his head and kissed Allen on the cheek.

"Only if I get to eat Moyashi soba." Kanda smirked and stood up. He grabbed Allen's hand and the two walked out of the cafeteria.

* * *

Okay, a little side author note thing. I'm pretty sure no one is gonna get why this story is funny and makes sense. But I had to write it and maybe one or two people will get it without reading this. K, Kanda when written in hiragana in Japanese translates to I want to bite. So if you leave his first name in English and put them side by side you get I want to bite you. Wow, the author's note to explain this is longer than the story. Not to mention I am probably going to get bitched out for translating it wrong. If I am wrong I apologize, this is just what I have learned in the Japanese classes I am taking.


End file.
